Kana iwe uri muukama uye uchibvunza zvakanyanya kuti sei vainewe kana kuti zvichapera rinhi, mukana wekuti une hukama hwekushushikana huri kuitika. Kunyangwe zvichiratidza zvakasiyana kubva kumunhu kuenda kumunhu, kufunganya kwehukama kunowanzoonekwa nekunyanya kunetseka nezvehukama hwerudo. Aya haasi butterflies, vanhu. Zvakapesana. Saka, nhata pamwe? Pazasi mutsara: Inoyamwa uye inogona kuparadza rudo rwako kubva mukati. Ngatipindei mazviri (kuti tigone kuipfuura). Pano, isu tinoputsa kushushikana, kwainobva uye nzira sere dzaungakunda kushushikana kwehukama.
Mhando dzeKuzvidya Mwoyo
Kushungurudzika hachisi chinhu chitsva kune vazhinji vedu. Isu tinozvidya mwoyo pano neapo nezvezvinoitika zvekushamwaridzana zviri kuuya, mazuva ekushanda uye zviitiko zvinokosha muupenyu. Zvisinei, maererano neAmerican Psychiatric Association, chirwere chekuzvidya mwoyo chirwere chepfungwa chinooneka chinosanganisira kunyanya kunetseka uye kugara uchitya zvakanyanya. Generalized kusagadzikana kusagadzikana inogona kuongororwa mushure mekunge mumwe munhu asangana nemwedzi mitanhatu yakatevedzana yekushushikana kwakanyanya pamusoro pezviitiko zvezuva nezuva. Social Anxiety Disorder (inobata vanhu vangangosvika mamirioni gumi neshanu muUnited States chete, sekureva kwe Kuzvidya Mwoyo uye Kuora Mwoyo Association of America ) kutya kukuru kwekutongwa kubva kune vamwe vari mumagariro evanhu.
Zvakafanana nesocial anxiety disorder , kufunganya kweukama inotarisana nemamiriro ezvinhu chaiwo kana kuti mamiriro ezvinhu, anoti, erudo. Izvo zvakakosha kuti urambe uchifunga kuti haudi yepamutemo kusagadzikana kusagadzikana chirwere kuongororwa kubva kuna chiremba kuti utambure hukama kunetseka. Zvinoreva kuti kunyange kuzvidya mwoyo zvishoma pamusoro perudo kuchiri kukodzera sehukama hwehukama-uye chero munhu anogona kuzviona, kwete isu chete isu tine chirwere chiripo.
Kushushikana kwehukama kunoratidzika sei?
Kushushikana kwehukama, semhando dzese dzekushushikana uye heti hombe chaizvo, zvinotaridzika zvakasiyana kune wese munhu. Generalized anxiety disorder inogona kukonzera kusagadzikana, kusagadzikana, kuneta, kushaya hope, mhasuru dzakasimba, kushatirwa uye kushushikana. Kushushikana kwehukama kunogona kuratidza zvakafanana; mutsauko chete ndeye izvo zviratidzo zvinobuda kuburikidza nelenzi yemubatanidzwa. Cherechedza: Zvizhinji zvezviratidzo izvi zviri nyore kupinda mukati. Mumwe munhu ane dambudziko rehukama anogona kushanda nesimba kuti azvivanze.
Muchokwadi, Kathleen Smith, PhD, mupi wezano ane rezinesi, akanyora pa Psychcom kuti kunyepedzera zvinhu zvese zvakanaka nekuti unotya kuita hurukuro yakakomba nemudiwa wako chiratidzo chikuru chekushushikana kwehukama. Saizvozvo, kana iwe uchinetseka zvakanyanya kana mumwe wako asiri padyo newe kana mukati mekuona, unogona kunge uchinetsekana nehukama. Izvi zvinogona kureva kuti unofungidzira nzira dzese dzavari kubiridzira pauri pavanenge vari kunze kune imwe nzvimbo kana kuti haugone kumira kure navo. Zvino, kana paine humbowo kuti vanga vasina kutendeka, inyaya yakasiyana. Asi, kuzvichenesa mupfungwa mukutenda kuti mumwe munhu ari kubiridzira pasina humbowo hunopfuura fungidziro yako chiratidzo chikuru chekushushikana kwehukama.
Imwe ratidziro ndeyekuzvitenda wega mumwe wako achakusiya chero nguva. Kufunga kwakashata uku kunowanzoenderana nekusakwanisa kuunza kutya kwako. Kana ndikaunza kushushikana kwangu pamusoro pekusiiwa, zvinoshungurudza mumwe wangu uye vanondisiya zvechokwadi.
Padivi pefiripi, mumwe munhu anovimba chete nemudiwa wake kuti ave bhodhi rinonzwika kune izvi-uye chero zvimwe-kunetsekana kunogona kunge kuri kutambura nekushushikana kwehukama. Kana mudiwa wako ari iye ega munhu pasi rose anokwanisa kunyaradza tsinga dzako kana kukutaurira pasi panguva yekunyanya kutya, kufunganya kwehukama kungangotenderera kune imwe nzvimbo (uye kunogona kuwedzera nekufamba kwenguva).
Chekupedzisira, kana iwe uchishingairira kudzivisa kufambidzana kana kuzvipira hukama zvachose, unogona kuve nekushushikana kwakawanda nezvehukama. Kwete nhau dzinoparadza nyika, asi dzinofanira kutaurwa nekuti kushushikana kwagara kuripo nezvehukama kunogona kubuda murudo rutsva.
Chii ‘chinokonzera’ kufunganya kwehukama?
Zvekare, munhu wese akasiyana, uye vaviri vese vane zvavanoda. Kushushikana kwehukama kunogona kuvaka mune vese vakaroorana nekufamba kwenguva, mumwe mudiwa anogona kuuya achinetseka kubva pakutanga, mumwe munhu anoita chimwe chinhu kukurudzira kufunganya; mikana haiperi. Chero nzira, kunongedza chikonzero chemudzi kwakakosha kuti uidonhedze mubud kana kuipuruzira kusvika pahukuru hunogoneka.
1. Kuongororwa kwekare
Zvimwe zvipingamupinyi zvinoonekwa senge social kusagadzikana kusagadzikana zvinogona kutungamira kana kudyisa hukama kusagadzikana. Nekuti kufunganya kwevanhu kwakadzika midzi mukutya kutonga kwevamwe kana kunetseka nguva dzose izvo vanhu vanofunga pamusoro pako, hazvina kuoma kuona kuti pfungwa idzodzo dzinogona sei kumutsa hukama hwekushushikana moto.
2. Kukanganisa kuvimbana
Kana mudiwa wako anga asina kutendeka kwauri munguva yakapfuura (uye iwe une humbowo kana kuti vakazvigadzirisa), izvi zvinogona kutungamirira mukusavimba uye kufunganya pamusoro pehukama hunoenderera mberi. Iwe zvakare unogona kuzviwana uchinetseka kana ivo vachinja, uchiziva kuti vanga vasina kutendeka kune vakamboshanda navo.
3. Maitiro ekutuka kana mutauro
Chero rudzi rupi zvarwo rwekushungurudzwa-mumuviri, nemashoko, mupfungwa-runogona kutungamirira zvakananga kukuzvidya mwoyo. Kushungurudzwa kwepanyama hakuna kunaka. Ndapota fonerai National Mhirizhonga Mudzimba Hotline kana mumwe wako ari kukukuvadza panyama. Kutukana nemashoko uye mupfungwa kunonetesa vanhu kana kuisa kutya kuburikidza nemashoko. Kana mumwe wako achigara achiseka pamusoro pezvikanganiso zvako kana kunyepedzera kuva ane utsinye kakawanda kupfuura zvavanenge vaine mutsa chaiwo, unogona kutambura kushushikana kwehukama kubva kurudzi urwu rwekushungurudzwa mupfungwa uye nemashoko.
4. Kurwa kusina zvibereko
Aka fights that end in empty apologies. Kurwa kunobudirira kunoguma nekudzidza chimwe chinhu pamusoro pako kana mumwe wako uye kukura muri vaviri.
5. Kunetseka nezveramangwana
Muchachata here muri vaviri? Vanoda zvinhu zvimwe chetezvo muupenyu here? Ndeipi nguva yakanaka yekubvunza mibvunzo iyi?
6. Kuzvidya mwoyo
Kusiyana nevanhu vanoratidza kusungirirwa kwakachengeteka, avo vane anxious attachment vanogara vasina chokwadi nekuzvipira kwemumwe wavo. Izvi zvinozotungamira kune maitiro anoparadza anogona kutosundira mudiwa kure.
7. Ngano yemudiwa akakwana
Kugara uchifunga kana paine mumwe munhu kunze uko ari nani kwauri kupfuura munhu wawakawana zvinokuvadza zvakanyanya. Nhau Flash: Mutambo wako wakakwana haupo. Esther Perel , murapi wehukama (uye chiratidzo chetsika), anodzokorora chokwadi ichi kune vatengi vake. Izvi zvinoreva kuti iwe kana mumwe wako haungambotarisiri kubata mamiriro ese nemazvo kana zvine musoro. Zvinorevawo kana wawana chinhu chikuru, usanetsekane nehuswa hwakasvibira mune imwe yadhi.
Saka, iko kuzvidya mwoyo here kana kuti kushushikana kwekare?
Hechino chinhu: Munhu wese, pa vamwe pfungwa, pamwe zviitiko vamwe kufunganya nezvehukama. Dai tisina kudaro, tinogona kuva nesociopathic. Kana tichida mumwe munhu, tinovimba kuti anotidawo! Kana takaroorana nomumwe munhu, tinoshanda nesimba pazviri uye hazvisi nyore nguva dzose. Kuenderera mberi, kunetseka kwakanyanya pamusoro pehukama-zvakananga nyaya ndizvo zvinoda imwe huru rewiring.
Sezvineiwo, rusarura rwakatenderedza hutano hwepfungwa rwakapikiswa mumakore achangopfuura uye vanhu vakanyanya kuvhurika kukurukura nezve kusagadzikana uye kudzidza magadzirisirwo azvo, nhanho imwe panguva.
8 Nzira dzekukunda Kushushikana Kwehukama Hwako
1.Zvibvunze, Ukama hwacho hwakakodzera here?
Behaviour psychologist Wendy M. Yoder, PhD , inokurudzira vanhu kuti vatange kuderedza kushushikana kwehukama kuburikidza nekuzvienzanisa ivo pachavo nekuvimbika. Hukama hwacho hwakakodzera here? Uyu hausi mubvunzo uri nyore kana wekutora kurerutsa. Asi, pakupera kwezuva, munhu uyu akakukodzera here? Ramba uchifunga, sezvatinoudzwa naEsther Perel, hapana mudiwa akakwana. Vanhu havana kukwana uye ndizvozvo! Mubvunzo hausi wokuti, Vakakwana here? Mubvunzo ndewokuti, Takanakirana here?
Pro tip: Kana iwe usingazive mhinduro kumubvunzo iwoyo (kusaita sarudzo chinhu chikuru mukushushikana equation), tanga nematanho madiki. Edza mamwe emaitiro akanyorwa pazasi. Sezvaunofambira mberi, kana uyu ndiye munhu wako anozojeka zvakanyanya.
2. Tarisana nazvo
Iwe haugone kugadzirisa chirahwe usina kutarisa zviratidzo; haugone kugadzirisa kushushikana kwehukama usina kuzvidaidza kuti chii uye kutaura nemumwe wako nezvazvo. Kushamwaridzana kwerudo hakusi kwega (kunyangwe isu tichida kuti munhu wese azvide zvisingaite!). Zvinotora maviri ku tango, uye mumwe wako anofanira kuverengerwa mukuita uku. Chinhu chimwe chete chekusiya kure nazvo? Kutaura nezve izvi kuburikidza tekinoroji. Zvinofanira kutarisana. Dr. Alexandra Solomon , ane rezinesi chiremba wepfungwa uye munyori webhuku Kuda Nehushingi: Zvidzidzo makumi maviri zvekuzvitsvaga Zvekukubatsira Iwe kuwana rudo rwaunoda. , anosimbirira kuti nhaurirano dzakaoma dziitike mumunhu. Kutumira mameseji hakuna hunyengeri, kwete-mazwi, uye nuance, maererano naSoromoni. Kuva mukamuri rimwe chete nomumwe munhu panguva yekurukurirano dzakaoma ndicho chinhu chikuru chekurukurirano dzine revo.
Pro tip: Kana iwe usina chokwadi chekuti hukama hwakakodzera kurwira, maitiro emumwe wako pakushushikana kwako achava chiratidzo chakasimba chekuti varimo here kwenguva refu (uye yakakodzera nguva yako, simba uye rudo. )
3. Taurai nezvazvo—uye mumwe nomumwe
Soromoni anotaura zvakawanda pamusoro pemasimba emagetsi muhukama uye zvinyorwa tsvakurudzo yakaitwa naDr. Carmen Knudson-Martin uye Dr. Anne Rankin Mahoney panyaya iyi. Paunenge uchifunga nezvekushushikana kwako kana kuunza kutya nemumwe wako, funga nezvekuti ndiani ane simba muhukama hwako. Simba risina kuenzana, kufanana nomukwanyina anogara achipa zvinodikanwa zvomumwe pamari yake amene, rinogona kuparira funganyo.
Kuedza zvakanyanya kudzikama pamusoro pemanzwiro ako ane dombo kana kusada kubvongodza hari haisi nzira yekufambisa kuburikidza nehukama. Kazhinji, kunyanya pakutanga kwechimwe chinhu chitsva, tinodzivisa kunetsana mukuedza kuratidzika kunge takatonhorwa uye takabatana. Ichi chigadziriso chenjodzi.
Pro tip: Kunyangwe kana paine chete inklings yehukama kusagadzikana kushungurudza pano neapo, zviunze nekukurumidza. Tanga kukurukurirana ikozvino nezvezvose zvinokunetsa, zvaunoda uye zvaunoda saka kana zvinhu zvikaoma gare gare (izvo zvisingadzivisiki, muhukama hwenguva refu, ivo vachadaro), mutauro watovepo kuti utore kushushikana kutsva.
4. Isa mari mukurapa wega
Therapy inzvimbo yaunoenda kunoburitsa, kunze kwekuti shamwari yako yepamoyo igutsurira musoro nekukudira rimwe girazi repinot, murapi wako anokubatsira kutaura nenzira dzaunogona kudzivirira manzwiro akashata kuti asatore. Zvinokosha zvikuru. Hongu, kufunganya kwehukama kungave kune chekuita nemumwe wako, asi kutarisa mukati kuti ufukure madhimoni ega kunokosha zvakare. Kwete chete kurapwa kunogona kukubatsira iwe kunzwisisa zviri nani, kududzira uye kubata manzwiro ako; inogona kukupa zvishandiso zvekunzwisisa zvirinani, kududzira uye kubata manzwiro evamwe.
Pro tip: Zvakakwana kutengera murapi usati wagara pane anokutora.
5. Funga nezvekurapa kwevakaroorana
Zvese zvichangotaurwa, kunze kwevakaroora. Kurapa kwevaviri kunogona kuvandudza kutaurirana uye kutsanangura zvinotarisirwa pakati pevadikani, izvo zvinozogona kuvaka kuvimbana uye kupa vanhu vese nzira dzakawanda dzekuzvitaura mune ramangwana. Zvakare, varapi vanowanzove vakanaka pakubvunza mibvunzo inosimudzira nhaurirano pamusoro pemisoro yakakosha. Mumwe wechitatu, ane ruzivo rwakadzama mune zvepfungwa uye hukama, achakwanisa kuita mazano ekusimudzira hukama zvichienderana nekucherechedza nzira iyo iwe nemumwe wako munotaura uye mabatiro. Ino zvakare inzvimbo yakanaka yekuunza nyaya dzakaoma dzaungade rubatsiro kutarisana kumeso. Nyanzvi dzakamboona matambudziko aya uye vari pano kuti vakubatsire mukuagadzirisa.
Pro tip: Kuenda kune vakaroorana kurapwa hakusi kwevakaroorana vari padhuze nekurambana. Izvo ndezvevose vakaroorana, kunyange vane hutano, vanoda kuwana zvakanyanya kubva muukama hwavo.
6. Dana iwe pachako
Hatireve kuti rambana nemumwe wako uye ungozvipfimba wega, asi isu tinoreva kuisa mari muzvishuwo zvako. Esther Perel anoti vanhu vari kugara vachiedza kuwana chiyero chakakodzera cherusununguko uye chengetedzo, uye kana tikarasikirwa neimwe kana kuwana yakawandisa yeimwe, zvinogona kukonzera kunetseka. Kushushikana kwehukama kunobva mukunzwa kusakwana kana kusurukirwa kunogona kudzokororwa kana munhu angozivazve uye azvidzoreredza mazviri (kushandisa rusununguko rwake). Iwe unofanirwa kuve nehupenyu kunze kweumwe wako. Nyorera kune iyo kirasi yawanga uchifunga kutora! Iva nechinangwa chako pachako uye tsanangura matanho anodiwa kuti uite! Iwe uri 50 muzana yehukama; unza yakanakisa shanduro yako patafura.
Pro tip: Funga nezvekuve anoshanda, pane kuita mudiwa anoshanda. Nyika yako haifanire kutenderera kune yemumwe wako, uye yavo haifanire kutenderera pauri. Iwe unofanirwa kunge uripo kune mumwe nemumwe (kuchengetedza) pasina kukanganisa kukura.
7. Nyorazve pfungwa dzako
Chikamu chikuru chekukunda kufunganya (uye matambudziko mazhinji ehutano hwepfungwa) kuri kushandura matauriro atinoita isu pachedu. Kugadzirisa pamafungiro asina kunaka (Haana kudana. Zviri pachena kuti ari kundinyengedza.) Anowedzera kushungurudzika. Pane kudaro, dzidzisa pfungwa dzako kuti dzifunge nezvezvimwe zvingaita kutanga (Haana kufona. Foni yake inogona kunge isina bhatiri. Anogona kunge achiri mumusangano webasa. Anoshandurwa nemutambo weFortnite.). Kusvetukira kune mhedziso hakuna hutano-uye hakusi kufungidzira izvo mumwe wako achati kana iwe ukavabvunza pamusoro pezvauri. funga vakazviita. Pane kuvaka ngano refu mupfungwa dzako, tarisa nemumwe wako nguva inotevera pamunenge muri mese.
Zvimwe chetezvo nenzira yaunotaura nayo iwe pachako. Edza kushandisa Dr. Dan Siegel's Name It to Tame It nzira. Vanhu vazhinji vane kuzvidya mwoyo vanodzokera kune imwechete yakaipa mafungiro maitiro nguva nenguva (muhukama hwehukama, izvi zvinogona kunge ndisina maturo, zvechokwadi achandisiya.). Dr. Siegel vanoti kukwanisa kunyora chimwe chinhu kunotipa simba rekusarudza maitiro atinoita mazviri. Saka, paunongotanga kugadzira nyaya pamusoro pekusavimbika kwemumwe wako, zvimise iwe, dana iyo kuti chii (Ndiri kunzwa kunetseka kana kuti ndinonzwa ndisina kuchengeteka) uye ita sarudzo yakasimba pamusoro pekufamba kwako kunotevera.
Pro tip: Kufamba kunotevera kungave kuzviudza kuti uri kubata uye mumwe wako ane rombo rakanaka kuva newe (kunyangwe iwe usingazvitende panguva iyoyo). Zvinogona kunge zviri kunyora pasi runyoro rwenguva dzakanaka muhukama hwenyu. Kunogona kunge kuri kutaura zvinhu zvaunoda pamusoro pako zvinonzwika. Kungava kufonera shamwari kana kuverenga bhuku kana chimwe chinhu chinoita kuti unzwe zvakanaka nezvako.
8. Kusimbisa muviri
Kutaura nezvekunzwa zvakanaka, kurovedza muviri igamba guru munyika yehutano hwepfungwa! Zvakare, kufunganya kwehukama inzira yekufunganya. Kudzidzira muviri-kunyanya yoga-yakaratidzwa kuderedza cortisol mazinga (iyo hormone inotungamirira kushushikana). Poshi ongororo yazvino yakaratidza 27 muzana yakaderera chiitiko chefunganyo itsva inomuka muvanhu vanorovedza muviri nguva dzose kupfuura avo vasina kuita. Saka, nepo maekisesaizi haagadzirise kufunganya kwehukama ari ega, chikamu chakakosha chemararamiro akadzikama.
Pro tip: Kunyangwe kirasi imwe yoga inogona kuvandudza mamiriro. Kana kurovedza muviri kusiri kwako, tanga zvishoma.
Kana iwe ukazviwana uri pakati pehukama kunetseka kunetseka kunotyisa, tora mweya wakadzika. Hausi wega. Kune mwenje pamagumo emugero uyu, unongofanirwa kutanga kufamba.
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