Chii chinonzi Gaslighting?
Kunyangwe ichigona kutora mafomu akasiyana, pakadzika kwayo, gaslighting inzira yekutaurirana umo mumwe munhu anoita kuti iwe ubvunze yako vhezheni yezviitiko zvakapfuura. Nguva zhinji, zvinoitirwa kuti unzwe sekunge uri kurasikirwa nekubata kwako pachokwadi. Mumhando dzayo dzakapfava, kuvheneka kwegasi kunogadzira simba risingaenzaniswi rehukama muhukama uye pakuipisisa, kuvheneka gasi kunogona kutorwa senzira yekudzora pfungwa uye kushungurudzwa kwepfungwa.
Mutsara uyu wakabva kune chakavanzika cha1938 chinonakidza, Chiedza cheGasi, yakanyorwa nemunyori wemitambo weBritain Patrick Hamilton. Mutambo uyu wakazoitwa bhaisikopo rine mukurumbira raiitwa naIngrid Bergman naCharles Boyer. Mumufirimu uyu, murume Gregory anoshandisa mudzimai wake anoyemura Paula kuti atende kuti haachavimbi nemaonero ake echokwadi.
Maererano ne National Mhirizhonga Mudzimba Hotline , kune nzira shanu dzakasiyana dzekuvhenekesa gasi:
- Iwe unogara uchingozvifunga iwe pachako.
- Unozvibvunza kuti, 'Ndinonyanyonzwa here?' kane gumi nemaviri pazuva.
- Iwe kazhinji unonzwa kuvhiringidzika uye kunyange kupenga.
- Unogara uchikumbira ruregerero kuna mai, baba, shamwari, sabhuku.
- Iwe haugone kunzwisisa kuti sei, nezvinhu zvakawanda zvinoita sezvakanaka muhupenyu hwako, iwe usiri kufara zvakanyanya.
- Iwe unowanzo kupa zvikonzero zvemaitiro emumwe wako kushamwari nemhuri.
- Unozviwana uchinyima ruzivo kubva kushamwari nemhuri, saka haufanirwe kutsanangura kana kuita zvikonzero.
- Iwe unoziva kuti chimwe chinhu chakashata zvakanyanya, asi haugone kunyatso taura kuti chii, kunyangwe iwe pachako.
- Unotanga kunyepa kuti udzivise kuisa pasi uye kumonyorora chaiko.
- Une dambudziko rekuita sarudzo dziri nyore.
- Une pfungwa yokuti waimbova munhu akasiyana zvikuru—akawedzera kuzvivimba, anoda mafaro, akasununguka.
- Unonzwa usina tariro uye usina mufaro.
- Unonzwa sokunge kuti hapana chaunokwanisa kuita zvakanaka.
- Iwe unoshamisika kana iwe uri 'akanaka zvakakwana' mudiwa/mukadzi/mushandi/shamwari/mwanasikana.
Ndezvipi Zvimwe Zviratidzo Mumwe Wako Ari Kukuvhenekera Gas?
Sa psychoanalyst uye munyori Robin Stern, Ph.D. anonyora mukati Psychology Nhasi , pane zvakawanda zveyambiro zviratidzo zviri kuitika muhukama hwenyu. Izvi zvinosanganisira:
Unogona Sei Kuona Gaslighting muhukama?
Chimwe chekutanga chiratidzo chekuti hukama hunogona kunanga kuvhenekwa negasi kuitika kwekubhomba kwerudo - uye inogona kuita seyakafanana nechikamu chehoneymoon. Iwe unoziva, kwausingakwanise kumira kufona uye kufunga nezve mumwe nemumwe, unotanga kurota nezveramangwana pamwe chete uye iwe uchiwanzo shora, unozviwana uchinyora. nhetembo kekutanga muhupenyu hwako. Asi kubhomba kwerudo kwakasiyana-kunyanya nekuti kune divi rimwe uye kunonzwa kudikitira. Iwo maruva anounzwa kubasa nemoyo inodonhedza iyo iri muzita rako, chipangamazano uye purofesa Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D inopa semuenzaniso mumwe. Iwo mameseji anowedzera muhuwandu sezvaanowedzera murudo rwerudo. Zvinoshamisa zvitarisiko zvakagadzirirwa kukunyengedza kuti upedze nguva yakawanda uine bhomba-uye, kwete zvakangoitika, nguva shoma nevamwe, kana iwe pachako. Kana iwe ukabatwa-wakachengetedzwa nekukasira kurwiswa kwemaitiro erudo, mukana uri, uri kubhombwa nerudo.
Mubhuku rezvidzidzo Chii chinonzi Psychology?: Social Psychology , Hal Belch anozivisa kubhomba kwerudo senzira inoshandiswa nevatungamiriri vechitendero: Kuti vakwezve vangangove nhengo, vechitendero vanoshandisa nzira dzakasiyana dzekuzviremekedza dzakaungana dzinozivikanwa se'Love Bombing,' umo vanogezera vanotora nerudo nerumbidzo nguva dzose. Iri zvakare zano rinozivikanwa rinoshandiswa nevashambadziri vepabonde kuti vawane kutonga, maererano nebhuku Matsotsi neVasikana .
Kubhomba kwerudo kunoshanda nekuti zvinogadzira fungidziro yekuti bhomba rerudo riri panjodzi newe. Izvi zvinobva zvaita kuti uvavhurire zvakanyanya kupfuura zvaungawanzonzwa wakasununguka kuita, zvichisiya musuwo wakavhurika kuti ushandiswe uye udzorwe.
Chii Chaungaita Kana Iwe Uri Kuiswa Gasi?
Unganidza Uchapupu
Nokuti chinangwa chikuru chekuvhenekera gaslighting ndechekuita kuti unzwe sokuti warasikirwa nechokuita nechokwadi, zvakakosha kuchengeta rekodhi yezvinhu sezvazvinoitika, kuti udzoke kune humbowo paunotanga kusava nechokwadi ndangariro yako. Kana zvasvika kune humbowo, iyo National Mhirizhonga Mudzimba Hotline inokurudzira kuchengeta bhuku rine misi, nguva uye mashoko akawanda sezvinobvira, mukuwedzera kukuudza zvakavanzika kunhengo yemhuri yaunovimba kana shamwari.
Vimba Neshamwari Dzako uye Mhuri
Kunyangwe kazhinji chiri chinangwa chegaslighter kuti akuparadzanise nevanhu vane hanya newe, kuve nevanhu vasiri mudiwa wako vaunokwanisa kutaura zvakavanzika kwavari kwakakosha kana zvichibvira. Pamusoro pekuita sebhodhi rinonzwika, shamwari kana nhengo yemhuri munhu wechitatu asina rusaruro anogona kunyatsoongorora mamiriro uye kukuyeuchidza kuti zvauri kunzwa hazvisi zvekupenga kana kuwedzeredza.
Tsvaka Rubatsiro Rwenyanzvi
Kana iwe uchifungidzira kuti kune gaslighting iri kuitika muhukama hwako, tsvaga rubatsiro rwemurapi ane rezinesi-kunyanya mumwe munhu anorapa hukama - anogona kukubatsira kutsanangura zvauri kusangana nazvo uye kukubatsira kuti upfuure. Zvichienderana nekuoma kwemamiriro ako ezvinhu, unogona zvakare kufonera National Abuse Hotline pa800-799-7233 kuti ubatsirwe nekukurumidza.
Ndezvipi Zvimwe Zvimwe Zviratidzo Iwe Uri Muhukama Hune Toxic?
1. Unonzwa Kuzvidya Mwoyo Kana Musiri Pamwe Chete
Paunenge wapedza maawa mashoma kure nemumwe wako, unozviwana iwe uchitarisa foni yako, uine dambudziko rekuita sarudzo wega uye uchinetsekana kuti chimwe chinhu chichakanganisika. Kunyange iwe ungangodaro wakambofunga kuti ichi ndicho chikonzero iwe anofanira ivai pamwe (zvese zviri nani kana muri vaviri, muchimbundirana pasofa), izvi handizvo, anodaro. Jill P. Weber, Ph.D. Kana iwe uchigara uchizvifungidzira iwe pachako, chinogona kunge chiri chiratidzo chekuti mumwe wako akabata pahupenyu hwako-uye sarudzo dzaunoita-nenzira ine chepfu.
2. Haunzwi Sewe
Hukama hune hutano hunofanira kuburitsa zvakanakisa mauri. Kana iwe nemumwe wako muchibuda mukutamba, munofanirwa kunzwa senge muchizvivimba, muine runako uye musinganetseke, kwete godo, kusachengeteka kana kufuratirwa. Kana iwe wakanzwa worse kubva pawanga uchitandara nemumwe wako akakosha, panogona kunge paine zvinhu zvine muchetura zviri kuitika.
3. Uri Kupa Nzira Yakawanda Kupfuura Yauri Kutora
Hatirevi zvinhu zvenyama uye majeti makuru, semaruva nematruffles. Zviri pamusoro pezvinhu zvidiki zvine mufungo, sekukwesha musana usingabvunzwe, kutora nguva yekubvunza nezvezuva rako kana kutora ice cream yako yaunofarira muchitoro chegirosari-nekuda kwekuti. Kana iwe uriwe wega unobuda munzira yako kuti uite izvi zvakakosha kune mumwe wako uye ivo vasingambodzorere kana kudzorera gesture (kunyanya kana iwe watotaura kuti ichi chinhu chaungade), ingave nguva. kupa hukama kutarisisa.
4. Iwe nemumwe wako Chengeta Chibodzwa
Chiitiko che'kuchengeta zvibodzwa' ndechekuti mumwe munhu wauri kufambidzana naye anoramba achikupomera mhosva yekukanganisa kwawakaita muhukama, anotsanangura. Mark Manson , munyori we Iyo Yakavanzika Art yekusapa F * ck . Kana uchinge wagadzirisa nyaya, itsika ine muchetura kuburitsa gakava rimwechete nguva nenguva, nechinangwa chekuwedzera (kana zvakanyanya, kunyadzisa) mumwe wako. Semuenzaniso, ngatiti iwe wakabuda neshamwari dzako zhizha rapfuura, uine matatu akawandisa maAperol spritzes uye netsaona wakatyora mwenje. Kana iwe watozvitaura uye uchikumbira ruregerero, hapana chikonzero chekuti mumwe wako arambe achizviburitsa pese iwe neshamwari dzako muine zuva rekunwa zvinwiwa.
RELATED : 5 Zviratidzo Hukama Hwako Hwakasimba
