Kana tichitaura nezvemumwe munhu ari kubiridzira mumwe wake, tinowanzofunga nezvebonde. Asi dzimwe nguva kubiridzira kunogona kuitika kure kunze kweimba yekurara. Uye kunyangwe zvingave zvisingasanganisire mvura dzemuviri, zvinogona kunge zvakashata, kana zvisingaite. Saka chii chinonzi kubiridzira mupfungwa? Muchidimbu, ndipo paunosangana nemumwe munhu pahukama hwepedyo, hwepamoyo uye nekubvisa kubva kune mumwe wako, uye zvinogona kukuvadza hukama sekuhura. Asi matsanangurire aunoita sevakaroorana vanogona kuita zvekunyengerera, vaine mimvuri mizhinji yegrey. Kuti ubatsire, hezvino izvo dzimwe nyanzvi dzakataura nezvazvo.
Saka, chii chaizvo chinonzi kubiridzira mupfungwa?
Kubiridzira mupfungwa kunogona kuva chinhu chipi nechipi chinosanganisira simba repfungwa riri kupiwa kunze kweukama kana muchato, anodaro murapi wezvepabonde Candice Cooper-Lovett we. A New Creation Psychotherapy Services . Kubiridzira mupfungwa kunogona kuva chero chinhu chinotora kubva muhukama.
Nekuti izvo zvinogona kunge zvisina kujeka, zvinogona kunetsa kuona kubiridzira kwepamoyo kana kuri kuitika (uye zviri nyore kuvanza). Asi kazhinji kubiridzira mupfungwa kunosanganisira nhaurirano apo hukama hwepfungwa hunokura mukati memamiriro ekukwezvana kwepedyo, anotsanangura kudaro chiremba wepfungwa. Dr. Catalina Lawsin . Funga zvinyorwa zveflirty, mukati majee uye kurumbidza kunokura nekufamba kwenguva. Kushamwaridzana kwenyama kazhinji hakusi chikamu chehukama-zvakadaro. Panogona kunge paine kukwezva kwemuviri muhukama hutsva uhu, asi mutsara iwoyo hausati wayambuka. Izvi zvinowanzobvumira vadiwa vari kubiridzira mupfungwa kuti vagadzirise hukama sehunogamuchirika. Nekudaro, iyo yakakosha chikamu chekubiridzira, kana chero nyaya, kuvanzika kana hunyengeri. Nokudaro, kubiridzira mupfungwa kwakaratidzwa kuva zvinoonekwa sokungoparadza hukama, kana zvisingaite [kupfuura kusavimbika pabonde].
Ndeupi musiyano uripo pakati pekubiridzira mupfungwa uye ushamwari?
Asi isu tiri shamwari chete, anodaro mumwe wako. Dr. Cooper-Lovett anotsanangura, [Ushamwari] hautore kubva paukama hwako hwazvino kana kuti huite kuti udzike kune mumwe wako. Uye nehukama hwepamoyo, iwe unogona kutanga hukama hwepedyo uye hwakadzama kupfuura zvawaizoita neshamwari dzeplatonic. Hukama huri kukudziridzwa muhukama hunogutsa uye hunogutsa zvishuwo zvehushamwari zvemubiridzira izvo zvava kutsvagwa kubva kumudiwa mutsva uyu kwete mudiwa wavo wenguva refu, Dr. Lawsin vanodaro. Zvinhu zvemupfungwa zvinogona kutanga seshamwari, uyezve kana hukama hwepedyo hukakura kana nguva dzekubatana dzichiwanda uye zvakanyanya, hukama hunoshanduka.
Dr. Cooper-Lovett anowedzera kuti muushamwari kune kazhinji muganhu maererano nehuwandu hwatinogovana isu pachedu, asi nekunyengedza kwemanzwiro, simba redu remanzwiro rakafanana nero muhukama hwepabonde. Ichi ndicho chikonzero kubiridzira mupfungwa kunogona kuva nengozi, anodaro. Uyezve, zvichida wakafunga nezvemunhu uyu asina kupfeka, kunyange dai usina kuita zvepabonde, izvo zvausingaiti nedzimwe shamwari dzako.
Nei zvichigona kukuvadza zvakanyanya kupfuura kusavimbika pabonde
Paunenge uchibatanidzwa mune zvepfungwa, iwe unotariswa zvakanyanya kubva muhukama hwako hwenguva refu. Simba rako rakawanda riri kupinda mune humwe hukama. Uri kudyiswa munyaya yepfungwa iyi, saka zvinhu zvaungada kubva kune mumwe wako unoona kuti hauchada nekuti uri kuzviwana kumwe kunhu, Dr. Cooper-Lovett anotsanangura. Izvi zvinogona kukonzera kusabatana muhukama, izvo zvinoita kuti vaviri vakaroorana vanzwe kure kubva kune mumwe.
Nekuda kweizvi, zvidzidzo zvakawana kuti kubiridzira mupfungwa kunonyanya kutyisidzira pane kubiridzira kwenyama. Munyaya yepabonde, inonyatsoita zvepabonde pasina kubatanidzwa kwemanzwiro (kunze kwekunge kwakatanga nenzira iyo), Dr. Cooper-Lovett anoti. Asi apo kunzwa kunobatanidzwa, kungava kwakaoma zvikuru kuti munhu wacho aparadzane uye zvingatoguma nokugumisa ukama hwavo hwazvino uno nokuda kwouyu mukwanyina mutsva wendangariro, anotsanangura kudaro.
Uye, sezvinhu zvenyama, kazhinji nyaya dzepfungwa dzinoitika kana paine matambudziko ehukama sekushaikwa kwehukama hwepedyo, Dr. Lawsin anotsanangura. Nehurombo, pane kuve pachena nezvechishuwo cheanobiridzira chekuongorora humwe hukama, vanhu ava vanopinda muzvinhu kuti vazadzise zvavanoda, vachisiya hukama hwavo.
Une mhosva yekubiridzira mupfungwa here?
Kana murume wako webasa ari kutanga kunzwa sechimwe chinhu chinopfuura kungoita cube mate, Dr. Lawsin vanokarakadza kuti uzvibvisire kure nemudiwa mutsva uyu uye kuzvibvunza mibvunzo mishoma inokosha: Sei ndisingadi kuudza mumwe wangu nezvehukama hutsva uhu? Ndezvipi zvandinoda izvo zvisiri kuzadzikiswa izvo zvava kuwanikwa muukama hutsva uhu? Ndiri kuedza sei kushanda paukama hwangu hwekutanga pandinenge ndichigadzira chinhambwe nekupinda mune iyi yemanzwiro?
Zvakakosha kuziva kana wadarika muganhu ungave unokanganisa ukama uye kuugura kana kuisa miganhu, Dr. Cooper-Lovett anoti. Ongorora kana iwe uchifara muukama hwako hwazvino uye kana iwe uchifanira kufunga zvauri kunyatsoda uye kuita sarudzo ine musoro kuti uenderere mberi nehukama here kana kuenderera mberi.
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