Mabhaisikopo atinoona, mapurogiramu epaTV atinodyisa uye mabhuku atinoverenga anowanzo kutevedzera pfungwa imwe chete kana zvasvika parudo: Mutambo mumwe-kune-mumwe. Chokwadi, dzimwe nguva kune anoshamisa matatu matatu, asi aya anowanzogadziriswa nesarudzo yemumwe mukwikwidzi. Asi muhupenyu chaihwo, vanhu chaivo dzimwe nguva vanozviwana ivo vari mumatatu pasina iyo Anna Karenina drama. Izvi zvinozivikanwa sehukama hwevatatu. Usanetseka, isu tichatsanangura, nerubatsiro rwewanano uye mhuri murapi R achel D. Mille r , yeFocht Family Practice muChicago.
Chii chinonzi hukama hwevatatu?
Kana hukama hwakajairika hunonzi dyad (vanhu vaviri), saka vatatu hukama hwepolyamorous hune vanhu vatatu. Funga nezvayo sechikamu chepolyamory. Asi haasi ose matatu matatu akafanana. Miller anotiudza kuti matriad anogona kutora akasiyana siyana: Nhengo nhatu dzese dzevatatu dzinogona kunge dziri muhukama, kana nhengo imwe chete inogona kunge iri pivot muhukama hweV. A V ukama (sechimiro) zvinoreva munhu mumwechete (pivot) ari muukama nevanhu vaviri, uye vanhu vaviri ivavo, kunyange vachibvumirana, havasi muukama nemumwe.
Zvakanaka, saka sei vanhu vachigadzira hukama uhu?
Zvakafanana nekubvunza chero vakaroorana kuti sei vari pamwe chete-pane zvikonzero zvakawanda zvekubvumirana kusina murume mumwe chete: rudo, ruchiva, kurerukirwa, kugadzikana, nezvimwewo. Chokwadi, Miller anotsanangura, chikonzero icho vanhu vanovaumba chinowanzosiyana kune vanhu vanobatanidzwa. , asi chavakafanana kubudirana pachena kunzira isiri yechinyakare yekudanana uye kuva muhukama. Heano mashoma ezvikonzero zvakakonzera hukama hwevatatu hwaakanzwa mumakore apfuura:
1. Vaviri vakaroorana vainzwa sokuti muchato wavo wakanga wakazara norudo, uye vaida kugoverana izvozvo nomumwe munhu.
2. Polyamory yainzwa segwara kwete sarudzo, saka dyadhi yakanga isiri chikamu chechiratidzo chavo chehukama.
3. Munhu akadanana nevanhu vaviri vakasiyana uye aida kuchengetedza hukama nevose, uye munhu wose aibatanidzwa aibvumirana pamusoro pegadziriro.
4. Shamwari yevakaroorana yakave inopfuura shamwari kune mumwe chete kana vose vari vaviri, uye vakasarudza sechikwata kuwedzera hukama kuti hubatanidze vose.
5. Vaviri vakada kuwedzera zvinonhuwira muhupenyu hwavo hwekusangana pabonde uye, mukuita izvi, vakawana mumwe munhu wavakashamwaridzana naye pamatanho akawanda.
Izvi zvinoita sekunge zvakaoma. Ndeapi masimba ehukama hwevatatu?
Kufanana nekusimba kwehukama hwese, hunogona kusiyana kubva papolygroup kuenda kupolygroup. Asi maererano naMiller, mamwe masangano akajairika evatatu vane hutano anosanganisira rudo rwechokwadi uye kuva nehanya kune vese vanobatanidzwa, gadziriro huru dzekutsigira (izvi zvinogona kuva zvepfungwa, zvemari, zvichingodaro) uye chishuvo chekuramba wakavhurika kune ese marudzi erudo aripo hupenyu hwavo. Miller anotsanangura kuti mukati mehumwe hukama hwepoly kana kubvumirana husiri hwemumwe murume, zvinhu zvinoda kuvepo ndezvekubvumirana kunoenderera uye simba uye kugona kutaurirana zvakare mazwi kuitira kuti nhengo dzese dziwane zvavanoda kubva muhukama.
Matambudziko api anosangana nevanhu vari muukama hwechivanhu?
Chinhu chipi nechipi chinopesana nezviyo chichatarisana nechinetso. Per Miller, mamwe matatu ane mhuri dzinotsigira zvinoshamisa dzinovatsigira uye vanogamuchira sarudzo dzavo nemaoko akazaruka. Vamwe havambobudi zvizere kumhuri yavo neshamwari nekuti havana chokwadi chekuti vachagamuchirwa. Sosaiti inotangwa kuti itsigire pfungwa dzechivanhu pamusoro pewanano-semuenzaniso, vanhu vaviri chete vari muukama vanogona kuchengetedzwa nemutemo wewanano, Miller anotiudza. Zvinorehwa neizvi zvinogona kusiya nhengo yevatatu ichinzwa yakachengeteka zvishoma kana kuti ine simba shoma mukati mehukama. Kugadzirisa? Kufanana nehukama hupi hupi: kutaurirana kwakanaka uye hurukuro yakazaruka.
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