Hapana angapokana kuti kufambidzana muma 20s kune zvakwakanakira. Zvichida une shamwari dzakawanda dzisina kuroora kana kuti hupenyu hwako hwekushamwaridzana hunosanganisira mamwe mapati edzimba akaderera uye mabhachi anokweretesa kusangana nevanhu. (Une zvamazvirokwazvo kwaniso iri nani yokupora kubva kune imwe yakawandisa margaritas, ndiko kwechokwadi.) Asi ngwariro yomuparadzi: Pane zvakawanda zvokutarisira nazvo kana ukazviwana wava usina kuroora mumakore gumi echitatu. Kuti ndizviratidze, ndakabvunzurudza vakadzi chaivo-uye ndakatora kubva pane zvakaitika kwandiri-kupfupisa kuti sei kufambidzana mu30s yako kwakanyanya kunaka.
1. Iwe une pfungwa iri nani yezvaunoda
Pakati pese, mhinduro yakajairika yandakawana kubva kuvakadzi vandakataura navo yaive imwe mutsauko pakuziva zvaunoda. Funga nezvazvo: Kunyange kana wanga uchifungidzira mumwe wako akakwana kubva pawakanga uri 12, nzira chete yekudzidza chaizvo kuti unhu hupi hunokosha kwauri ndeye ruzivo. Pamwe waimbokwezvwa nehupenyu hwepati…kusvika waona kuti zvainetesa sei kuenderana neawakambogara achitsvaga. Kana kuti ngatiti iwe waigara uchizvifananidza nemumwe munhu ane chishuwo chikuru, asi ipapo wanga usingapengeki nezvemazuva gumi nemana ekupedzisira S.O yako. yaigara ichidhonza. Rondedzero yekuwachisa yehunhu haitsivi manuances uye kuomarara kwehukama chaihwo, hwekugara-kana iwe wakanyanya kufambidzana, zvinova nani zano raunowana rezvinonyatso kushandira iwe.
2. Uye iwe unonyanya kusununguka kukumbira
Kana chivimbo chichiuya nezera, izvo zvinoenda zvakapetwa kana zvasvika pakufambidzana. Funga nezvenguva dzawaive mudiki uye chimwe chinhu chaikunetsa-munhu wawaiona achiyamwa pakutaura, kana kuti pamwe waida kutsanangura hukama asi waisada kuisa njodzi yekukanganisa chero kuenzana kwawakange uine. Iwe mudiki, ndine nhau kwauri: Iwe hausi kuita chero munhu (kunyanya iwe pachako) chero favour nekusabvunza. Handizive kuti imhaka yekuti zviitiko zvakaunganidzirwa zvakatiomesera kana kuti isu takangorerekera kune maitiro eDGAF, asi zvinoita sekunge panguva yatinorova 30s edu, isu tatozvipedza. Vazhinji vevakadzi vandakataura navo vakati vakatoita zvirinani pakutaura nezvezvavanoda, kungave kuri kukurukura maonero avo ekuita vana kana kungozivisa mumwe munhu kuti, aiwa, ndoda kusatyaira mudhorobha kuti tisangane. Dave & Buster's for our first date uye tinogona here kuenda kubhawa rewaini rakanyarara pakati pedu pane kudaro?
3. Wakadzidza kubva pane zvawakakanganisa
Ngatirege kuisa zvese izvi zvakapfuura zvekuparadzana pane edu ekare (kunze kwaSteve; iyeyo yaive mhosva yake zvachose). Ndinogona kubvuma zvechokwadi kuti pane dzimwe nguva dzandakanga ndiine udyire uye ndisingadi kubvumirana nemumwe munhu wandaifambidzana naye, uye dzimwe nguva ndainyora vanhu (avo zvichida vakanga vasina kukodzera) nokuti ndakanga ndiri mumusoro usiri iwo. Asi pachinzvimbo chekuzvirova pamusoro pazvo, ndinoinyorera kuti ndizvione uye ndinopika kuita zvirinani mune ramangwana. Sokuziva kwandinoita kusashivirira unhu hwakaipa hwomumwe munhu wandiri kufambidzana naye, ndinovavarira kuzvibata ndimene kumupimo mumwe chetewo. Panjodzi yekunzwika senge yoga inopesvedzera Instagram post, iwe unobuda chete sekuwanda kwaunoisa-uye haugone kutarisira kuwana pachena, kutendeseka uye tsitsi kana usiri kuzviunza iwe pachako.
4. Unoziva kusatambisa nguva pazviro zvakati
Simudza ruoko rwako kana paine kutenderedza kana kumwe kubatwa kwerudo munguva yako yakapfuura iyo yakakwevera pawayyy kureba kupfuura zvayaifanira kuva nayo (* inosimudza maoko ese *). Nepo zvikonzero zvako zvingasiyana, kwandiri, ini zvino ndoziva kuti yaive nzira yekusachengeteka: Munhu uyu haana kundiitira zvakanaka, asi vari pano izvozvi, uye ndiani anoziva nguva inotevera apo mumwe munhu achandifarira zvakanyanya? A good chunk of my 20s yaitongwa ne-zve-zve, kure-zvakare mamiriro akanga asina hutano kana kuzadzisa, asi kuti ini ndaitya kurega. Uye nepo maitiro angu aive kure nekusava nemhosva (ndine chokwadi chekuti ndaigona kunge ndakatsiga pamusoro pezvandaida), dai ndanga ndakatendeseka pachangu, zvaive pachena kuti hukama ihwohwo hwakanga husina ramangwana kubva pakuwana. -enda. Iye zvino zvandava nemaonero akawanda, ndiri nani pakuona kana chimwe chinhu chakakodzera kusamira kunze-kana kuti zviri nani kuti ndisiye ngarava nekukurumidza. Sekutaura kunoita Marisa, makumi matatu nematatu: Unova nani pakusakura vanhu vausingaenderane navo.
5. Iwe unogona kunge uine mari yakawanda inoraswa
Zvakanaka, hazvisi zvese zvinofanirwa kunge zviri zvekuzvitarisisa uye kusimudzira pachako-izvo zvemabhenefiti chaiwo anoverengera chimwe chinhu, zvakare. Kana wanga uchidzikamisa basa rako kwemakore gumi apfuura kana zvakadaro, unovimba une imwe mari mubhangi (sezvinoitawo tarisiro yako yezera rerudo). Zvinoreva kuti pachinzvimbo chekusamira kuawa yekufara pabhawa rekudhibha, unogona kusangana neyazvino Hinge match pamusoro pemenu inonaka yekuravira-kana kubhuka rwendo rwekufungidzira nemunhu wawanga uchiona kwemwedzi wapfuura. Kunyangwe kana zvinhu zvikasashanda, iwe unozopedza imwe nguva uchiita chimwe chinhu chinonakidza pane kunwa doro rine mvura.
6. Unokoshesa nguva yako zvakanyanya
The best part about my 30s kufambidzana kudzoka kumba before 10 p.m. uye kuenda zvakananga kumubhedha-sweats-TV mode, anodaro Whitney, 38. Kunyange zvazvo izvi zvingasanzwika sezviri pamusoro pekupfimbana, sezvinei, zvinodzokera pakusada kutambisa nguva pane chero munhu-nokuti wakasununguka kuva wega, saka kana chimwe chinhu chichizokanganisa nguva yako yakakosha yemahara, zvingave zvakakosha. Ndava kuziva kusvika kumukomana ndine hurongwa hwekubuda—sokuti 'Ndinogona kungosangana nechinwiwa chimwe chete sezvo ndine zvirongwa zvechisvusvuro gare gare,' anodaro Anny, ane makore 36. Ndinonzwawo kusununguka zvokuti, 'Hoo zvakanaka, ndakanaka. kusangana newe! Iva nehusiku hunoshamisa' usingaregi zuva richikwevera imwe awa.
7. Iwe hausi kuzotsvaga wekufambidzana naye nekuda chete
Kuremekedzwa kwose kwakakodzera kune shamwari dzedu dzakabatanidza vaduku, asi vakuru isu tinokura, zvakanyanya kuwana akakodzera kwenguva refu mudiwa usati wakura zvakakwana kuhaya motokari inoratidzika semhepo, kwete kupiwa. Chokwadi, vamwe vanhu vanobatana, vanofamba mukukura pamwe chete uye zvinoitika kuti vakure nekuchinja munzira dzinoenderana. Asi vazhinji vedu tinopedza makore iwayo tichifunga zvinhu tiri toga-kana kuona kuti hukama hwedu kubva kukoreji hahuchakodzeri-uye tinobuda mhiri tiine mufananidzo uri nani wekuti tiri ani uye watinoda kushandisa nguva yedu. . Uye isu ticharambwa kana isu tichizotora izvo zvese-zvakaremerwa kutsvaga mweya uye tongobatirira pane anotevera anokodzera bachelor/ette anofamba nepo.
8. Une humwe ruzivo rwehupenyu (uye dzimwe nyaya)
Kunze kwehukama hwekare, iwe uchangobva kuve pasi pano kwechinguva ikozvino, uye icho hachisi chinhu chakaipa. Iwe unogona kunge wakashanda mashoma akasiyana mabasa panguva ino, pamwe wakawana mukana wekufamba uye wakasangana nevanhu vakawanda vanofarira. Kunze kwechokwadi chekuti zvese izvo zviitiko zvakuita iwe munhu ane ruzivo, wepasirese, akazara, zvinokupa iwe zvakawanda zvekutaura pamusoro peiyo yakajairwa yemazuva ekutanga fodder. wakakurira kupi uye une vanin'ina vangani -kufanana nenguva iyoyo wakashambira mubako repasi pevhu ... kana kunyura mukati SNL after party.
9. Uri kuwana vhezheni itsva uye yakagadziridzwa yekufambidzana kwako tarisiro
Panzvimbo pokufunga nezvenguva yakapfuura yomumwe munhu somukwende—nekuti, chaizvoizvo, mukwende hausi ruzivo rwokuzviwanira here?—edza kufunga nezvemumwe nomumwe wekare sorutivi rwedzidzo yakavaita kuti vave munhu mukuru, akachenjera zvikuru wavaari nhasi. Sezvo iwe uchivimba kuti wakadzidza chimwe chinhu kubva kune imwe neimwe yehukama hwako, ivo vakakura uye vakachinja kubva kune vamwe vanhu pesvedzero, zvakare. Uye hongu, izvo zvinosanganisira kurambana. Mumwe munhu akambopinda muhukama hwakazvipira husina kubudirira hazvisi zvinhu zvakakuvadzwa-kure nazvo. Vanogona kunge vane ruzivo rwakakosha nezvematambudziko ehukama hwenguva refu uye vanoziva zvavanozoita zvakasiyana nguva inotevera.
10. Zvinhu zvinokurumidza kufamba, kana uchida kuti zvidaro
Vazhinji vedu tine imwe vhezheni yeshamwari iyoyo yakasangana nemunhu wake panguva yekumisikidzwa uye akafambidzana kwemakore matanhatu asati atamira pamwe chete uye mamwe matatu asati aroorana. Asi kana ukasangana nemunhu waunosangana naye pazera remakore makumi matatu nemana-uye kuzvipira ndicho chinangwa chako-hauonekwi kune imwe nzira. Imi mose makave nenguva yemwaka, sekutaura, muhukama hwekare uye hupenyu huzhinji, saka matanho anotevera haunzwi sekusvetuka kwakadaro. Pandakangotanga kufambidzana nemumwe munhu, takakurumidza kutevera maBS ese, mumwe mukadzi akandiudza. Matambudziko emhuri, mapasscode enharembozha, gasi rinopfuura pachena…zvose zvinomhanya zvakanyanya kana uine nguva shoma yekutambisa. Mumwe anozvipfupikisa: Ndakasangana nemukomana wangu wazvino (akakomba) mumakumi matatu uye, nezvikonzero zvakasiyana, ndine chokwadi chekuti tingadai tisina kumbosangana muma 20s edu.
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