Mubvunzo: Inguva dzepashure-denda uye ndakasurukirwa mushure mekugariswa kure kure semukadzi asina murume kwegore. Munguva Isati Yasvika, ndaisapikisa kudzosa mumwe munhu kumba kwangu kana ndaida kuungana naye, kunyange dai ndakanga ndichangobva kusangana navo. Iye zvino, kunyange zvakadaro, ndinonzwa ndisina kugadzikana uye ndinozvifunga (zvose pamusoro pematarisiro andinoita mushure mekupfeka sweatpants kwegore, uye kungofanana, pamwero wekuchengeteka). Help! Ndinonzwa mojo yangu yepabonde neyekushamwaridzana yatyoka.
Rachel L., New Jersey
A: Rachel, uri mukadzi wegore. Kwete yedu chete - yenyika. Nekuti murapi wese, nyanzvi munyaya dzepabonde uye mukadzi asina murume watakataura naye akanzwa zvakawanda zvezvinhu zvakafanana zvaunotsanangura Asi zvine rombo rakanaka, vanachipangamazano ava vane mamwe matipi uye matipi ekugadzirisa iyo nyowani post-quarantine kufambidzana chiitiko, pamwe nekunetseka kwako.
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Chokwadi #1: Hausi Woga-Vanhu Vazhinji Vari Kuzvidya Mwoyo Nezvekufambidzana Nebonde Izvozvi
Maererano nemurapi wepabonde Tammy Nelson , vatengi vari kuratidza kushushikana kukuru pamusoro pekupindazve kwete kungoshanda uye kushamwaridzana chete asiwo kune tsika dzavo dzekare dzepabonde. Kurasikirwa kwehunyanzvi hwemagariro, kugerwa kwakashata kwemba, kuwedzera denda mapaundi, Nelson anonyora. Sezvo chokwadi chinosvika, vanhu vazhinji vari kunetseka.Danho rokutanga, nyanzvi dzinobvumirana, nderokubvuma kusagadzikana kwako. Maererano ne Vienna Farao , New York City-based marriage and family therapist, Kugadzirisa kufunganya kunoda kuti titange tabvuma zvinyoronyoro uye kupedza nguva tiinako. Zviri nani kuti tizive pane kuti tirambe tovanza. (Akagadzira online app yehutano hwepfungwa inonzi Zvangu kubatsira vatengi kuita izvozvo chaizvo.) Chiyeuchidzo chikuru kurangarira kuti tese tiri mune izvi pamwe chete. Kusachengeteka, kutya uye kusava nechokwadi kwaungave uine kuri kuratidza neimwe nzira kune [vanogona kufambidzana navo] zvakare, anodaro.
Chokwadi #2: Kudzidzira Kunoita Kunyatsokwana
Saka kana iwe waona kushushikana kwako, unofambisa sei kupfuura iyo? Baby matanho, anodaro Emily Morse, zvepabonde podcaster uye Dr. Ruth wechizvarwa chitsva maererano New York Times . Mushure megore rekushamwaridzana, vazhinji vedu takakanganwa maitiro ekutamba nekutamba neIRL. Nhau dzakanaka ndedzekuti nekudzidzira iwe unenge wakasimba uye sexier kupfuura nakare kose. Pane imwe nguva ichangoburwa yepodcast yake Bonde naEmily , anoyeuchidza vateereri kuti vasangane nechitarisiko chemumwe munhu wavanoda, vaswedere pedyo navo kuti varege kuvavhundutsa uye kuti vasangane navo (asi kwete nenzira inotyisa yevagadziri veHollywood) pavanenge vachitaura kuti vazive kuti uri. kufarira.
Neimwe nzira, nyanzvi dziri pachena kuti haufanirwe kuzvirova kana usiri kunze kwekudzungaira kubva kumachandeliers - kana kuwana rombo rakanaka nematani evadyidzani - sezvawakaita denda risati raitika. Austin, Texas-based Tammy Shaklee, LGBTQ ally uye mumiriri uye muridzi we H4M sevhisi yekugadzira mitambo, anodaro ini pachangu ndinofunga kuti tsika yakapfuura yekubata-bata yakambodzikamiswa, zvirinani izvozvi. Ndinonzwa ma singles ave more discersive. Zvichireva, kana izvi zvichigona kuve njodzi, uyu ndiye munhu wandingazviisa panjodzi here? Nekuda kwekuti wakatora jekiseni zvakanyanya hazvirevi kuti mumwe wako akaita zvimwe chetezvo. Kana vakataura zvikonzero zvavo zvekusatora jekiseni, munhu uyu anokodzera here kubatana?
Chokwadi #3: Iva Wakajeka Pauri NeZuva Rako
Panzvimbo pemimwe mibvunzo yakavhurika, ndinonzwa vanhu vachibvunza kuti wakaita COVID riini? Nderipi zuva rawakapfura kechipiri? Shaklee anodaro. Vanhu vazhinji [vari] kutora mutoro wega wega kuona kuti pave nemavhiki maviri kubva pakupfurwa kwechipiri. Tiri kutsvaga zviratidzo zvemutoro, kuzvidzora uye kushingaira kwakakodzera muhutano hwemunhu uye hweveruzhinji.
Murapi wewanano nemhuri Pharaon anobvumirana: Kunyangwe iwe uchitsvaga chinhu chakakomba, chinonakidza chirimo chinobhururuka kana kubatana, zvakakosha kuti ujekese pane zvaunoda kuti unzwe wakasununguka uye wakachengeteka. Tora nguva yekufunga zvakakosha kwauri: Une hanya here kana mumwe munhu abaiwa? Unongofarira vanhu vari kufambidzana nemunhu mumwe chete panguva? Iwe unoda kuziva zvakawanda nezve mararamiro avo kuitira kuti uone kana zvichikunakira iwe? Anokurudzirawo kuti nepo online kana IRL kufambidzana hakudi kuchinja zvakanyanya nekuda kwekunetsekana kweCCIDID, Zvingangove zvakanaka kuti utange zvishoma zvishoma sezvo system yako inojairana uye tarisa iwe pachako uye kuti uri kunzwa sei mushure mekutsvaira, kutumira mameseji uye kufambidzana. . Nenzira iyo, kudzokera kune-mu-munhu misi haisi nzira yekudzokera kune zvepabonde chete, asiwo chiito chekuvandudza ruzivo rwako pachako pamusoro pezvaunoita uye zvausingadi muhukama, kunyange kana hukama huri humwe hunogara. maawa mashoma chete.
Tipi yedu yatinofarira nyanzvi, zvisinei, haina chekuita nebasa remukati rekuvaka-esteem-building. Inobva kune mutambi Shaklee, uye ndiyo yatinogona kumbundira nyore-kutenga. Sekutaura kwaanoita, Kana iwe, sevazhinji vedu, wakawana iyo Covid gumi nemashanu kana makumi maviri mapaundi, wobva waenda kunze undotenga mbatya dzakanaka, nyowani uye dzakagadzikana uye zvipfeko zvemukati zvinozunungusa iwo macurve matsva.
Mushure mezvose, kurapwa kudiki kwekutengesa hakuna kumbokuvadza munhu.
